Trusting You

Good morning, little bean!

I think one of my absolute favourite things in the world is when you look at me and say, 'Good morning, darling!'. Coming in close second is when you giggle your little head off and say 'Gesundheit!' when I sneeze. Could you be any more loveable?

Seems I'm not the only one that loves you! 

The longer that I am a mother -- the longer that you have existed in this world -- the more that I am learning to trust you. It is a wonderful feeling, to realise that you are such a good self-regulator (you have actually started to tell us when it is bedtime, and you go into your room, sit on the chair and ask for your book!), and that I can stop worrying so much about what I am doing, the impacts of my decisions, the terrible five-year fall-out of letting you go to sleep with a bottle for those two nights...

For instance:

- Sometimes you go a week, it seems, without touching a vegetable. I can try to trick you or disguise them in any number of exotic ways, but you see through me. I am learning that instead of stressing about this, I just keep putting them in front of you. And then, around about once a week, you have a total fruit and vegetable GORGE. Purees, soups, muffins, fresh, whole and chopped, grated, in quiche, in waffles, in pasta... I just have to let you be.

- You 'should' (ugh that word makes me shudder) be having about 500ml of milk now, and not from a bottle. Some days you have only 150. Some days you seem to have about a litre. Some days you have none at all in the night. Some days you have it ALL in the night. I know now that you have your reasons. When you are teething badly, it somehow helps. And that's okay by me. Whatever gets us through.

A cute photo... just because... So serious!

- Some days you don't want to walk. We will go out and you will remain entirely in the pram, never wanting to explore, not wanting to play at the playground, not wanting to chase after that puppy. Instead of thinking about how this will impact our night, and how you need to exert energy so that you will sleep, I just have to leave you be. I know that there are some days where I'd give the world for my mummy to push me around while I just zone out and watch the birds.

- You get very overwhelmed by a lot of people. I am learning that instead of always trying to do 'what is good for you' and what I think 'will be fun', I should let you decide what will be fun. So now we don't go to the Monday morning krabbelgruppe (playgroup?) here, as it has ballooned to about thirty people, and it is pretty clear that you don't want to be there. Now I ask you if you'd like to go, and you say very clearly, 'NO krabbelgruppe! NO!' I suppose this is the same lesson as when we stopped swimming. Now instead, we focus on catching up with friends and socialising with kids in smaller groups in an unstructured way. You enjoy this so much more, which means that I do too.

Kisses with one of your favourite friends

We've all been in struggle town a bit lately, my love. But the Spring sunshine (I love that you now declare it a sunshiny day!) is bringing life back into our household, the snowdrops are well and truly blooming, and we are all shaking off the cobwebs of grey foggy days. And you always bring a smile to my face, little one.

I love you!
Love Mummy.