Meeting Arnold

Dear Beanie,

There was a very very special parcel that arrived in the mail for you the other day. It was a parcel from your Nanny in Australia. She sent a couple of pairs of shorts (it is very handy to have someone who sends end-of-season sale items at the start of our season!), some easter eggs (of which you had one and went TOTALLY bananas asking for more! Chocolate is a very rare treat for you!), and Arnold.

Meeting Arnold in the flesh for the first time

Arnold is the first ever doll that your Nanny has knitted. You and I have been watching him grow and change over Skype for the past few months, and you became quite obsessed with him, always asking for Arnold the moment Nanny popped up on the screen, and often asking me if we could 'Call Arnold'.

Arnold LOVES dancing!

But Arnold wasn't meant for you. Arnold was meant to be sent to Africa as part of this amazing project that sends handmade dolls to African children. Since Arnold's completion, he has gotten a couple of siblings, but you've never really shown an interest in them like you have in him. I know it would have been a tough decision for Nanny to send him to you, who is in no way starved for toys, instead of sending him to Africa, but WOW WOW WOW your complete and utter joy at finding him inside that package...

But one day, Arnold will find his way to Africa... so long as you don't love all of the stuffing out of him first!

I love you, little boy. And I love your Nanny too! And you love Arnold.
Love Mummy.

Trusting You

Good morning, little bean!

I think one of my absolute favourite things in the world is when you look at me and say, 'Good morning, darling!'. Coming in close second is when you giggle your little head off and say 'Gesundheit!' when I sneeze. Could you be any more loveable?

Seems I'm not the only one that loves you! 

The longer that I am a mother -- the longer that you have existed in this world -- the more that I am learning to trust you. It is a wonderful feeling, to realise that you are such a good self-regulator (you have actually started to tell us when it is bedtime, and you go into your room, sit on the chair and ask for your book!), and that I can stop worrying so much about what I am doing, the impacts of my decisions, the terrible five-year fall-out of letting you go to sleep with a bottle for those two nights...

For instance:

- Sometimes you go a week, it seems, without touching a vegetable. I can try to trick you or disguise them in any number of exotic ways, but you see through me. I am learning that instead of stressing about this, I just keep putting them in front of you. And then, around about once a week, you have a total fruit and vegetable GORGE. Purees, soups, muffins, fresh, whole and chopped, grated, in quiche, in waffles, in pasta... I just have to let you be.

- You 'should' (ugh that word makes me shudder) be having about 500ml of milk now, and not from a bottle. Some days you have only 150. Some days you seem to have about a litre. Some days you have none at all in the night. Some days you have it ALL in the night. I know now that you have your reasons. When you are teething badly, it somehow helps. And that's okay by me. Whatever gets us through.

A cute photo... just because... So serious!

- Some days you don't want to walk. We will go out and you will remain entirely in the pram, never wanting to explore, not wanting to play at the playground, not wanting to chase after that puppy. Instead of thinking about how this will impact our night, and how you need to exert energy so that you will sleep, I just have to leave you be. I know that there are some days where I'd give the world for my mummy to push me around while I just zone out and watch the birds.

- You get very overwhelmed by a lot of people. I am learning that instead of always trying to do 'what is good for you' and what I think 'will be fun', I should let you decide what will be fun. So now we don't go to the Monday morning krabbelgruppe (playgroup?) here, as it has ballooned to about thirty people, and it is pretty clear that you don't want to be there. Now I ask you if you'd like to go, and you say very clearly, 'NO krabbelgruppe! NO!' I suppose this is the same lesson as when we stopped swimming. Now instead, we focus on catching up with friends and socialising with kids in smaller groups in an unstructured way. You enjoy this so much more, which means that I do too.

Kisses with one of your favourite friends

We've all been in struggle town a bit lately, my love. But the Spring sunshine (I love that you now declare it a sunshiny day!) is bringing life back into our household, the snowdrops are well and truly blooming, and we are all shaking off the cobwebs of grey foggy days. And you always bring a smile to my face, little one.

I love you!
Love Mummy.

1, 2, 3, 4, SIX!

Dear Beanie,

We spend so much time giggling together lately. There can be really no more beautiful sound in this world than your giggle. In fact, when your Daddy was tickling you last night, we reminded each other that we need to always remember your toddler giggles.

Your first proper ice-cream, Nutella flavour, made for lots of giggles!

Your favourite game to play with me at the moment is 'Counting'! You will look at me intently and say, 'One!', then you wait wait wait until I say, 'One!'. We then race through two, three and four, then skip five. You will always say six, and I will say five, again and again until you giggle like a maniac. Eventually I give in and say six, and we rumble on through to 'TENTENTEN!'

And repeat. Again, again and again. I have no idea, really, where you learnt to count. This is not something that we have been 'working on' with you whatsoever, but I suppose little things like occasionally counting all the little Play-dough balls that you make (Nanny started doing this with you when she visited, I think!), or counting the babies on the back page of Peepo, or counting down from five as you jump off the couch... I suppose all of this sticks.

I was chatting to a friend about this recently and she said that so many toddlers have an issue with five. I wonder why that is?! Either they will count to five then stop, or, like you, skip it altogether. Such weird creatures you are!

I love you, little boy. You are almost 22 months now, which is almost two, which makes me boggle... I love you all the time.

Love Mummy.

The Swiss Farm Experience

Dear Bubbaloo,

We had a one day crossover recently where all three of us were healthy! Amazing! And it was gorgeous weather and a Sunday... woah... so of course we went to the farm.

Everything about this day was perfect. The weather, animals, the food, the fact that it was one day before my birthday, and the fact that all three of us were in such good moods. We always talk about needing to do more and experience more, but more often that not we are always just so insanely tired... hmm, whose fault could that be?

The highlights of the day for me:

1. Watching you as the smallest kid amongst a bunch of bigger kids, all throwing yourselves about in the hay bails. Often this is the kind of thing that would overwhelm you and you'd want to just stand and watch, but you jumped right in there this time and had a ball!


2. Sitting in the sunshine overlooking the lake, watching hot air balloons over the mountains, eating farm-fresh produce and cake. (How can I not have taken a photo of this?!)

3. Watching you giggle your little head off at the goats. You got a little too overeager with one, though, and he decided to butt you out of the way... so I'm hoping the next time we go you still like them!

We didn't get a chance to buy a sausage and cook it on a stick over the bonfire, but next time that will definitely be on the list.

Places like this, days like this, are why we choose to live here. It is amazing for me to think that this is your version of normal.

I love you, Beanie!
Love Mummy.